How many DEC employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2 People - Preliminary discussion on concept of change.
1 Person - Devise and write formal bulb architecture.
2 People - Feasability study and timetable of events.
2 People - Produce four utilities to reduce screw-in time
1 Person - Maintain ISO and DEC standards
4 People - Commonality task force on bulb change.
15 People - Change bulb.
5 People - Perform bulb functional test.
2 People - Perform bulb load test.
3 People - Perform bulb regression test.
1 Person - Perform bulb performance analysis.
1 Person - Perform bulb bottleneck analysis.
1 Person - Follow-up study (bulb merge feasibility).
1 Person - Interface with utilities commission.
1 Person - Interface with users. (Did they want incandescent
when we only supply non-tunable fluorescent point
product?) BAX (Bulbs Are eXpensive)!
5 People - Perform BOSE (Build Other Socket Enhancements).
compatibility architecture/study.
3 People - Perform VIA (Voltage Increases Amps) phase 2
compatibility architecture/study.
2 People - Ensure form (round, square, clear/frosted)
follows function (wattage, 120/240 volts,
visible/ultra-violet, flashing, flood/spot).
3 People - Implement temporary alternative bulb socket for already
existing, successful, and profitable socket (bulb-in-one).
5 People - Determine how to market/package/distribute temporary
alternative bulb socket.
8 People - Determine how to perform bulb change product split
(Control: switches, dimmers; versus implementation:
screw-in torque, recovery strategies).
1 Person - Interface with utilities commission QA group.
1 Person - Submit to BDC (Bulb Distribution Center).
1 Person - Set up BPR (Bulb Problem Reports) system.
9 People - Answer customer BPRs.
11 People - Football team to challenge bulb changers.
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1) How many can you afford?
2) Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object,
one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter,
one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose,
one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a
secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for
professional services....
