Related:

• A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things!
  I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?...
• There was this guy who won the lottery. He immediately calls his wife and says to her, "Honey, I won the lottery, pack your bags.
  And she says, "Well, we only have one suitcase." And he says, "No, just pack your bags,I want you gone when I get home!...
• This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, "Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!
  She says, "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?...
• Fishing For A Week A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up.
  I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime....
• A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man....
• A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle.
  He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope....
• A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his head.
  Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to the front door and starts pounding on it....
• This big guy (and I mean *really* big) is sitting in his local pub, having a beer when this little guy comes running in.
  Quick, quick", he says, "there's a guy in bed with your wife!...