Related:

• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• RACIAL/ETHNIC There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
  One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish....
• I HAD A BAD DAY It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
  The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died....
• This is a true story told by a friend of mine. It happened to a girl she knew.
  There was this girl driving along the highway, when she suddely had to visit the restroom....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• There once was a man who had a very well developed liking for beans (green beans, wax beans, kidney beans, limas - it didn't matter which, he liked them all).
  He would go out of his way to get a good bowl of beans....
• There was a girl who just started working in a bank.
  Every day, she noticed that a very attractive man walked by her office....
• The first grade teacher assigns her class to use the word "contagious" in a sentence.
  The next day, she asks who has their assignment done....