The first grade teacher assigns her class to use the word "contagious" in
a sentence. The next day, she asks who has their assignment done. Little
Mary goes first, "Mommy told daddy not to kiss her for a week because she
has a cold and its contagious". "Very good", said the teacher and calls
on little Peter. "When I have a cold and sneeze, I use a handkerchief
because I am contagious". "Excellent", said the teacher and called on
Johnny (the foul mouth of the class). "My dad and I went for a ride in
the country and saw this woman on a tall ladder painting a giant barn with
a little bitty brush and my dad said that if she didn't get a bigger
brush, it would take that contagious to finish the barn"!
While watching last night's news, I heard the ultimate lawyer joke. It
wasn't meant to be funny but here's the exchange:
"If that is so stupid, why is Sadaam doing it?
Answer (I swear I'm not making this up) "That's simple. He's not a
trained military man, he's a lawyer.)
King Hussein was on his throne when his aide ran to him saying,
"Both Sadaam Hussein and the Pope are waiting to see you...who
do you want to see?" The King thought a moment, and said, "send in
the Pope, at least I only have to kiss his ring."
