One day the Pope became very sick. All the cardinals are very concerned since
he looked like he would not last long. They called in a number of doctors and
none of them could help. Finally, they called for the best doctor in Rome,
who told them, "There is only one hope for him, but you are not going to
like it." The cardinals said, "Anything, tell us and we will do it!" So the
Doctor explained, "The only way that he will live is if he has sex with a
woman." A gasp went up from the cardinals and then a murmuring. But they
agreed to tell the Pope. They explained the situation and the Pope (he was
Italian) said, "Wella, thera musta be three condiziones. Firsta, she musta
be blind so she canna see nothing." The cardinals nodded in agreement.
"Nexta," the Pope continued, "she musta be deff so she canna hear nothing."
They all agreed and said, "And what, Your Holiness, is the third condition?"
"The thirda condizione," said the Pope, "isa thata she musta have biga tits."
