Related:

• It's time to play "What's Your Business" starring you, the caller.
  That's right, you get to leave your name and number on this amazing machine!...
• In the background can be heard Gregorian Chant or some other church music &l
  In a soft voice> Good Day My child, you have reached {name} dial a confession....
• My answering machine reads, with spooky music in the background, or Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, "Hello.
  You have reached xxx-xxxx,otherwise known as the epicenter of the universe....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy.
  You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions....
• Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
• Star Trek theme in the background:) (Voice 1:) Room 17, the final frontier.
  (Voice 2:) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine....
• This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word.
  Today's word is supercilious ...}...