Related:

• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition.
  You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded....
• Voice Mail My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
  A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here....
• with a kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra" in the background.
  ..] "Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached....
• At the sound of the tone, you will be charged $10 for the first minute and $
  2 for each additional minute. Please leave your name, phone number and a message....
• Theme from "Indiana Jones" in the background.] You've reached the residence of John and Tom.
  We can't come to the phone right now, because we're cleaning the refrigerator....
• Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone.
  If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number....
• The message I currently have on my recorder is the output from my Amiga's speech sythesizer.
  It's set up as a dialog between two distict, but recognizably artificial voices....
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....