Related:

• Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $
  .95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone......
• Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call".
• Thank you for calling Soviet Embassy. No KG... E
  o diplomats are able to answer phone, so at sound of capitalist tone, leave name, telephone number, and short description of secrets you wish to sell....
• US Army Official Voice Mail Message Thank you for calling the United States Army.
  I'm sorry, but all of our units are out at the moment, or are otherwise engaged....
• The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
• beep, beep, beep> The number you have reached, Seven.
  Six. Seven. One. Two. Three. Four. [Use your number here....
• Call 911. $3.00 first minute, $1.00 each additional minute.
• In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. [sound effec
  Heeeeee-YAH!, smashing box of kleenex] But this method doesn't work with a telephone call....