Related:

• A Belgian, Hans, meets one of his French friends, Pierre, in the street, and say
  Hans: "Hi, Pierre! I haven't seen you for a long time!...
• You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition.
  You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded....
• Just after the earthquake a friend of mine put on his answering machine
  "Hi, this is Jeff. We can't get to the phone right now because we were killed in the Earthquake....
• Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you....
• Rules that guys wished girls knew ** If you think you're fat, you probably are.
  Don't ask us. ** Learn to work the toilet seat. When the lid is up, put it down....
• The message I currently have on my recorder is the output from my Amiga's speech sythesizer.
  It's set up as a dialog between two distict, but recognizably artificial voices....
• Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call".
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.