Related:

• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• From davidbe@sco.UUCP Wed Feb 15 18:30:06 1989 Flag
  000000000000 From: davidbe@sco.UUCP Subject: A Song for the 80's (Offensive to Republicans) Keyword...
• GIVE YOURSELVES A HAND excerpted from "Kids Who Eat Paste" performed by The Brunching Shuttlecocks written by Lore "Cosmic Slug" Shoberg Scene
  A podium, with the Presidential Seal and a few microphones on it....
• HOW GUYS THINK By Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize Winning Columnist From The Boston Sunday Globe
  August 20, 1989 Today we're going to explore the mysterious topic of How Guys Think, which has baffled women in general, and the editors of Cosmopolitan magazine in particular, for thousands of years....
• Dad's Words of Wisdom Don't ask me, ask your mother.
  Were you raised in a barn? Close the door. You didn't beat me....
• Peter Marshall's List of Favorite Answers From "Hollywood Squares".
  .. -According to Movie Life Magazine, Ann Margaret would like to start having babies, soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile....
• Idiot Olympic Questions Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied where appropriate.
  Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?...
• Here are some of my favorite jokes from the HBO special Jackie Mason On Broadway.
  Keep in mind that Jackie is a former rabbi. His father and two brothers are also rabbis....
• Jerk! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
  I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?...