Peter Marshall's List of Favorite Answers From "Hollywood
Squares"...
-According to Movie Life Magazine, Ann Margaret would like to start having
babies, soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why?
PAUL LYNDE: He's out of town.
-What are "dual-purpose cattle" good for that other cattle aren't?
PAUL LYNDE: They give milk...and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies.
-Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
PAUL LYNDE: Who told you about my elephant?
-When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
CHARLEY WEAVER: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
-Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
CHARLEY WEAVER: His feet.
-Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very
important. What?
PAUL LYNNE: An engagement ring.
-According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than
drinking. What?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Not drinking.
-True or false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward
them at full speed, then high-jumping over them.
CHARLEY WEAVER: This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests.
-You're on your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the Kabuki.
Why?
PAUL LYNDE: It was a long plane ride.
-If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
-Do female frogs croak?
PAUL LYNDE: If you hold their little heads under water.
-You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
woman?
DON KNOTTS: That's what's been keeping me awake.
-True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they
do in their pajamas.
PAUL LYNDE: Yes. We call them winos.
-According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex,
what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy?
PAUL LYNDE: Where can I get some?
-Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try
to break him of his habit?
JOAN RIVERS: Yes. It's daddy's turn.
-Question: In what state was Abraham Lincoln born?
PAUL LYNDE: Naked and screaming like the rest of us.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
