Related:

• One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine. Another voice
  Nobody expects an answrering machine. Our chief use is to get your name....
• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• From Sourcebook Magazine, Summer 1990, by Dan Gutma
  Would the invention of the telephone ever have gotten off the ground if Alexander Graham Bell's first call had gone ....
• My answering machine reads, with spooky music in the background, or Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, "Hello.
  You have reached xxx-xxxx,otherwise known as the epicenter of the universe....
• My favorite that I have heard as an answering machine message is also >from this movie.
  My friend recorded the section that goes something like...
• Odd that no-one mentioned the fun to be had with all the new and wonderful phone features available now.
  None of the below are truly destructive. Adjust gender as appropriate (women's lib be damned, I'm not going to type his/her, s/he every time)....
• A Cynics Guide To Life ** The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
  ** I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows....
• Tips from Secretaries to Managers: Enhancing the Relationship 1.
  Whenever possible, please keep us late. We have no homes to go to and are only too thankful to spend the evening here....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....