Related:

• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• I worked for a bit in the coastguard in Wales and I used to send weather reports to other bases, using a sort of antique FAX machine.
  I would call first on a special telephone and then send the data....
• Here are some of my favorite jokes from the HBO special Jackie Mason On Broadway.
  Keep in mind that Jackie is a former rabbi. His father and two brothers are also rabbis....
• YOUR NEW OFFICIAL TAX FORM 1. Enter your social security numbe
  ___-__-____ 2. How much money did you make last year?...
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• ENTER DATA, ENAMORATA Back into the fray. Thanks to all who sent along best wishes at the outset of my vacation.
  Now, as you rejoin the ranks and the column moves out into another fiscal front, let’s get those shoulders back, chests out, stomachs in and tongues in cheek....