A rock band's drummer thought he would make a good policman, he was
use to pounding a beat.
A man was taken to the polic station and asked to confess, they showed
him his fingerprints, and those found at the crime. "But they're whorls
apart!"
A mafia hitman was taking a poor guy for a ride, a slay ride.
While in jail a man worked on his alibiography.
The officers busted a picture over a man's head. He was framed.
A gasoline carrier is like a polic car, it's a petrol wagon.
A dishonest man and a harp struck by lighting are both a blasted lyre.
Was he conceited? He's eight feet tall and plays the flute, he's clearly
high-flutin'.
His wife was a brunnette, he had married a blonde, but then she dyed.
The guy's average income was around midnight.
The engaged couple had met in a revolving door and started going around
together.
"What was Mrs Jone's maiden name?" "Why, her maiden aim was to get
married."
A driver with a truck load a hogs was looking for a porking place.
His engine was smoking, but it that was ok, it was old enough.
He agreed with the sign, "Fine for parking."
A taxi driver is a man who drives away customers.
You have to watch out for rattlesnakes, they'll strike, they've form a
union.
In a farm town the whole nieghborhood was stirred up, spring ploughing.
A husband was working in the backyard while his wife lay in bed with
a very bad cold. "How's the wife?" "Not so good." "Sorry, is that her
coughin?" "Oh, no. This here's a chicken coop."
When the pigs back into the electric fence, there is a short circus.
A old man who was hard of hearing went into the art museum looking for
a forty foot mule.
Everyone knows the four seasons are pepper, salt, vinegar, and oil.
Everyone knows the moon is really made of silver, it's quarters and
halves.
A job description, how true? "The principal activities of this senior
clerk is to take care of some of the cuties of the commisioner."
The politicians three R's, this is Ours, that is Ours, everything is Ours.
He owns ten gaoline stations and not one had a roof, no overhead.
Cleopatra lived and loved on denial.
A wife to her husband, "How come you got insulate?"
He's a nice kid, but he can lilac anything.
He really liked going to the denist, it was a drilling time.
He thought he was twins, his mom had a picture of him as two.
He wanted a pet, asked for an octopus, he thought it would be an
eight-sided cat.
The dog was chasing it's tail, he was trying to make both ends meet.
She enjoyed the song in sunday school, it was about a cross eyed bear
named Glady. The song was "Gladly the cross I'd bear."
At first the dog was named Ben, then it had puppies, now it's Ben Hur.
He thought Good Friday was a holiday for the guy who worked with Robinson
Crusoe.
Dr. Jones fell in the well and died without a moan.
He should have tended to the sick, and let the well alone.
Ruth rode in my new cycle car in the seat in back of me;
I took a bump at fifty-five and rode on Ruthlessly.
He who courts and goes away, may court again another day;
But he who weds and courts girls still, may go to court against his will.
Related:
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
