Related:

• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• Unknown A man stoped at a traffic light in his brand new Rolls Royce.
  A bright red Porsche pulls up beside him, rolled down his window and excitedly entices the Rolls driver to do the same....
• RACIAL/ETHNIC There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
  One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish....
• A man was very shy, and couldn't speak to more than two people at a time without getting nervous.
  His boss and wife both suggested that he take an Andrew Carnegie course....
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• Unknown Once upon a time there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans.
  He loved 'em, but always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction....