Related:

• I was driving through North Wales one day last summer, when I had the misfortune to run out of petrol right out in the sticks.
  It was about 5 miles to the nearest house, but when I got there the farmer who lived in it was very hospitable and offered to drive me back to my car with a can of petrol, as long as I stayed to have a bite to eat first....
• A man was out for a walk one day and on his travels he wandered through a farm.
  Strangely, he saw a pig with a wooden leg! This intrigued him so much he found the farmer and quizzed him about it....
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....
• The little boy came down to breakfast. Since they lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.
  Not yet" said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores....
• I HAD A BAD DAY It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
  The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died....
• Two Polacks are drving along in their truck when the y see a pig by the side of the road.
  Well, this is pretty unusual, so they stop for a look....
• A guy walks into a pub with a pig under his arm, and this pig has a wooden leg.
  The guy orders a beer for himself, and a dish of water for the pig....
• WORKMAN'S COMPENSATION CLAIM Dear sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information.
  In block #3 of the accident reporting form, I put "LOST PRESENCE OF MIND" as the cause of the accident....
• Remember: Spell Check your jokes, and include a one line signature at most.
  From werner Wed Jul 13 14:06:34 1988 Flags: 000000000001 From...