Related:

• A guy goes to a doctor and says 'i think i got aids' doc says tests'll take a few days come back next week.
  ..guy comes back and the doc says 'sorry, you got aids' guy says 'oh god, i don't wanna die!...
• A man goes to the psychiatrist a nervous wreck. The shrink tells him to sit down and explain his problem.
  He says, "Well, doc, I keep having this dream where I am at this party full of people and I look across the room and there is a beautiful blonde woman and she walks over and our hands touch and instantly we are alone in a room, naked....
• One day, a guy comes into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want it to grow".
  So the doc says, "Here, take three of these a day," and gives the guy a bottle of pills....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• A doctor on his rounds in a mental hospital sees a couple of patients behaving rather strangely.
  The first man is sitting on the edge of his bed clutching an imaginary steering wheel and making loud noises not unlike a Kenworth....
• Footless Parrot A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he's lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help.
  The store he happened to walk into specialized in parrots....
• Butcher Dance A guy has spent five years traveling all around the world making a documentary on Native dances.
  At the end of this time, he has every single native dance of every indigenous culture in the world on film....
• ObJoke: This guy goes to Texas on vacation. (No, that's not the punchline.
  ) When he's ready to leave the airport, he hails a cab, but a stretch limo pulls up....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....