Uncle Bill was finding the money in the movie business rather poor.
Unless you were a big star minimum wage was the best you could expect.
As Bill was having trouble making ends meet he decided to take on a
second job. After some searching he got a job out in the San Joaquin
valley guarding fields of cantalopes and casabas. Bill was issued an
old double barrel shotgun and shells loaded with rock salt. His job was
to protect the fruit from theives who would sneak in during the dark of
night. The first few nights were very difficult. Uncle Bill had a
terrible time staying awake all night, then going to his daytime acting
job. At last Bill came up with a solution. He would get a dog to help
him guard the fields. After much looking Bill found a suitable animal.
It was one of the long haired breed known for its great intelligence.
In memory of one of the dogs more famous relatives Bill named his new
pet Lassie. Guard duties became much easier. Lassie would stand watch
while her master caught a few winks. Unfortunately one dark evening a
stray dog came into the cantalope field. While Bill was sleeping Lassie
took time out for a romantic interlude. In a due span of time Lassie
gave birth to a single cute little puppy. Bill was delighted, he now
had two dogs to help with guard duties. He became very attached to the
little pup, and often refered to it as his "melon collie baby".
;-)
Husband and wife were enjoying some horizontal recreation.
Husband stopped and asked wife. "Did I hurt you?" She replied.
"No, why?" He responded, "You moved!"
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
