Related:

• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• Golfing and the Genie A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses.
  On the third tee the husband said "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball....
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• When you are in a peach orchard, don't look for turnips.
• Once upon a time, a newlywed couple were on their honeymoon in the Bahamas.
  One day, while sun-bathing, the husband got a bad case of sunburn on his dick....
• Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman 1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
  2. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices....
• Santa's Bad Day... One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
  Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule....
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• A pleasure boat captain leased out his craft and services to an old and affluent man and his young, very beautiful mistress.
  As misfortune would have it, a storm wrecked the boat and stranded the three of them on some far away island....