One day in the city of Juarez, a group of people who happened to be outside
on a warm summer day, (taking thier afternoon siesta one would suppose),
witnessed an event that would spur talk of a local hero for many days.
Off in the distance was seen a man in a big white hat, riding a big white
horse. As he approached a crowd gathered, for one legendary man stood clear in
thier minds. My friends, I believe it is Poncho Villa that approaches.
As this stranger got closer so that his face could be seen, a gasp went through
the crowd, for this was not Poncho Villa. Hell, his posters were up all over
town. The crowd, ammazed that someone would try to impersonate such a great
local hero, gathered close and pelted the stranger with questions.
"Who are you?"
"where do you come from?"
"Why are you dressed like Poncho Villa?"
"Are you his friend?"
At the last question the stranger, riding the big white horse, tilted back his
big white hat, and spoke these words.
"You ask me who I am, you ask me eef I know Poncho Villa, you ask eef I
am hees friend, let me tell you a story."
So the stranger climbed off his horse and stood leaning with his poncho pulled
back so that all could see the big, shiny gun that he carried low on his hip.
He then began to speak and the crowd grew quiet.
"You see, I was walking down de road on de way to Juarez today, when
from behind me I hear de sound of a horse come. I look down down de road to
see who is coming, and far away I see a man on a big, white horse, wearing
a big white hat, riding to me. And I says to myself, 'Jose, I tink that
that is Poncho Villa riding his big, white horse.' and as de hombre on the
horse come closer, I saw that eet was indeed the Poncho Villa who face was
posted on walls throughout all Mexico."
"And as Poncho Villa aproached, he slowed his big, white horse, and he
looked at me, and he smiled, and all de gold in his teeth did sparkle like de
sunlight. Then he pulled his big, heavy gun, and he pointed eet at me, and he
said 'you... pull down you pants!' What could I do, he had a gun. So I pulled
down my pants. Then he looked at me and smiled, 'now, take a sheet'.. ayeee, I
had no choice, he had a gun. Then he wave that pistol at me and he say, 'Now
eat et!' but for that gun, cavrone!, so I ate eet."
"And Poncho Villa, he laugh so hard, he fall off that big, white horse,
and he drop that big gun, and I pick eet up, and I point eet at him. And he
quits laughing. Den I say to Poncho Villa, drop you pants! what could he do, I
had de gun. Now I says to him, take a sheet, he no smile now. and I wave that
big gun at heem and I says, now eat et!"
"And you ask me if I know Poncho Villa! Hell, yes I know Poncho Villa!
I had lunch with heem today!"
