Related:

• 5000 years ago Moses said, "Pack up you camel, pick up your shovel, mount your ass, and I will lead you to the promised land.
  5000 years later, F. D. Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass and light up a camel, this is the promised land....
• Why A Woman Does Not Need A Man... ** If you want someone who'll make a total fool of himself because he's so glad to see you, get a dog.
  ** If you want someone who's always ready to go out any time you ask, get a dog....
• Q: What do you do with a legless dog? A: Take him for a drag.
• Q:" How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?
  "A:" You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need....
• Q: What do you do with a dog that doesn't have any legs? A: Take him for a drag.
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• A 5-year-old girl gets a kitten for her birthday. Soon thereafter, the Mom, while getting into the car slams the door on the kitten, killing it in front of her daughter.
  Mom explains that "this is life", accidents happen, we learn from our mistakes, and so on....
• THE LATEST AND GREATEST AS COMPILED ON 18th October 1991
  The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes (167) -------------------------------------- Revision 3....
• The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes ----------------------------------- 12/15/92 Q
  How do blonde braincells die ? A: Alone....