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• I just got pulled over by the L.A.P.D. and boy am I beat.
• Unknown You know you are no longer a kid when.. Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it any more.
  Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun....
• A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
  The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane is too heavy and in order to avoid an ugly crash, some weight needs to be removed from the plane....
• Q: Why did they stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face off in the corner.
• Q. How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  A. Six. They all beat the hell out of it, leave it lying in a dark alley and brag about it in the pub afterwards....
• Q: What does a young Indian do if he has no date to take to the war party? A: Beat his tom-tom.
• Q: What do the L.A. Dodgers have in common with Michael Jackson?
  A: They wear a glove on one hand for no apparent reason....
• Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon!
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...