Two travelling salesmen, Jack and Bob, were driving through along a
desolate stretch of Kansas highway when their car broke down. It was getting
late, and the only building for miles around was a weather-battered old gas
station a mile up the road. Jack and Bob went up to the adjacent trailor and
knocked on the door. A knarled, old, baggy-titted widow answered the door.
"Ma'am," said Jack, "Our car broke down. Do you think we could stay here
tonight?" "Well," said the widow, "I only have one bed. One of you can sleep
with me, but the other will have to sleep on the porch. Y'all decide who
sleeps where ..."
Jack and Bob both knew that whoever slept in the widow's bed would have
to screw her ugly, gnarled body, so they flipped a quarter to see who got
the dubious honor. Bob lost and so he slept on the porch. Jack tentatively
crawled under the sheets. The widow lost no time tearing Jack's clothes off
(something he had conveniently neglected to do). "Wait a minute," said Jack,
"I like to do it in the dark." The widow agreed and so Jack got up to turn
out the lights. That was when he noticed a bucket full of corn beside the
bed. When he crawled back under the covers, Jack grabbed an ear of corn and
started screwing the widow with it. Thw widow, being rather 'wide,' did not
notice the difference - she started moaning and screaming. Bob, sleeping
outside, heard all the commotion and crept up to the window so he could
better hear the action.
Inside, every time the corn got soggy, Jack threw it out the window.
The widow, who hadn't had a man in decades, was insatiable and so the corn-
screwing went on all night. The next morning, their car repaired, Jack and
Bob were driving along, when Bob started giggling. "What's so funny?" asked
Jack. Bob started guffawing. "What the hell is so funny?" shouted Jack. Bob,
finally regaining control of himself, said, "Last night while you had to
screw that ugly widow, I was a laying back eating buttered corn!"
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
