Related:

• A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
• To help telecom-sters clarify just how humorous their postings are intended to be, here is a collection of the many faces of humor, emoticon-style.
  emoticon: n. a figure created with the symbols on a keyboard that is read with the head tilted to the left....
• What if___________ toasters? If IBM made a toaster, it would be big and blue and they would make just one toaster to which people would submit bread for overnight toasting.
  IBM would project an eventual worldwide market of, oh, maybe five or six of these big blue toasters....
• Tips on love. (All questions were answered by kids age 5 to 10) WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?
  "Eighty-four, because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom....
• THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD.
  ** A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder as you get older.
  After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier....
• I think feminists have a point. I think there OUGHT to be a 'spokesperson'.
  I think there OUGHT to be a 'chairperson'. But sometimes, they go to far....
• A friend of mine, Doug, finally managed to get this girl he liked out on a date.
  They went to a movie. On the way home from the movie Doug's car caught on fire somehow....