You take the top off the standard sugar dispenser found at restaraunts
around the country. You place a single layer of paper napkin over the
opening in the glass part, then put salt on top of that. Put the top back
on and tear off all the paper showing around the edges. The first victim
gets salt in his coffee, which I suppose is funny to some people. But what
is even funnier is this same guy, or the next, trying to get sugar out of
the thing. They think the sugar may be caked and bang the dispenser on the
table, shake it, hold it up to the light and squint at it, etc. ...
Many years ago, before all the young studs started taking their dates to
motels for, er, recreation, there were always Lover's Lanes around. On a
typical moonlit night there might be a dozen cars at one of these places
with the windows all steamed up from the activities within, and occasional
flashes of red as flailing feet inadvertantly hit brake pedals. Some people
I knew used to get their jollies chaining the bumpers or axles of these cars
to the nearest fence or tree ...
The most elaborate joke along these lines was played by three friends of
mine, whom we'll call Tom, Dick and Harry.
On a moonlit night as described above, Tom came running out of the woods
onto the Lover's Lane screaming, "No! NO! Oh, God, Please NO!"
When Tom had everybody's attention, Dick stepped out of the woods with a
shotgun, yelled "Now I'll get you, you bastard!" and fired the gun over
Tom's head.
Tom dropped to the ground and lay there writhing and screaming until Dick
came over and fired a blast into the ground near his head, then went limp
and quiet.
Then Harry came rushing over, yelling "Jesus, Jack, why'd you DO it? He was
our FRIEND!! Oh, my God! ..." and the like. Then both Dick and Harry
grabbed Tom by the heels and dragged him back to the woods. When they were
out of sight Tom got up and all three enjoyed the activity back at the scene
of the "crime", which needless to say had changed considerably from a few
minutes before.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
