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• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Letter from Camp Dear Mom & Dad: We are having a great time here at Lake Typhoid.
  Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried....
• Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor.
  Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do pushups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing....
• A 5-year-old girl gets a kitten for her birthday. Soon thereafter, the Mom, while getting into the car slams the door on the kitten, killing it in front of her daughter.
  Mom explains that "this is life", accidents happen, we learn from our mistakes, and so on....
• Syadov walks into the Moscow health clinic and asks to see an ear-and-eye doctor.
  The nurse explains to him that there isn't a specialist in those two areas at the clinic, but tells him that they have an eye-doctor AND an ear, nose, and throat man....
• A guy went hunting for duck. He was out hunting for an entire week and never managed to shoot a duck.
  On his way driving back to the big city he happened to see a duck flying over a barn yard....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• Three gays are driving around San Francisco, when they had to stop for a red light.
  Unfortunately, the large semi-trailer behind them burned out his breaks on the steep downgrade and slammed into the back of the gays' car....
• The following are actual statements found in insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of the accidents in the fewest words.
  These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining....