Related:

• RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
  ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....
• Benny, a first grader, was walking home from school when he saw a blinding flash of light and a puff of smoke
  in front of him stood his Fairy Godmother. She said, "I've come to grant you one wish and one wish only, what will it be?...
• A woman wanted to have a baby, so she asked a guy to have sex with her.
  Just as they were about to commence, she asked, "What are we going to call our baby?...
• A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.
  As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest....
• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• Once upon a time a sailor ran into his doctor's office and begged him for help.
  He pulled down his pants and showed the doctor his dick, which was sporting a ruby red ring around the tip....
• There once was a business executive who decided he needed a little rest from the daily routine, so he decided to take his pretty, young secretary to a hotel for some whoopee.
  He rented a very nice, quiet room and they spent the day drinking, going to bed, having lunch, drinking some more, back to bed again, etc....
• It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo.
  They spent the day, and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife....
• Kids will be Kids... Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on?
  He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on....