Related:

• Man, I had a girl friend and when I took her to the zoo and she saw what an elephant had, she would not go home with me.
• True Story? Last weekend I was in the grocery store getting a gallon of milk.
  As a walk up to the check out line the lady in front of me turns around and says, " You are such a doll, you look almost identical to my daughter....
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• The Night Before Christmas According to Moms It was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode Only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
  The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, While visions of Nintendo 64 and Barbie, flipped through their heads....
• A girl was in the shower she saw her mom's tits, and she asked when she would get some like hers.
  The mom replied that when she was 16, she would get tits....
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• Man A: So how was your honeymoon? Man B: Very good until the morning after waking up, I forgot and said to my wife "You are wonderful, here is $
  100". Man A: It is not that bad, she might not know that you thought her as a hooker....
• There is a married couple with two children. To avoid corrupting the children's minds, the couple uses the word "laundry" to represent sex.
  One night, the man rolls over to the wife and says "Honey, would you like to do laundry tonight?...