Related:

• We do precision guesswork
• How many IBM PC owners does it take to screw in light bulb?
  Only one, but he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra....
• The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner.
• How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
  (Whispering voice:) "What do you WANT it to be?" How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...
• It got better when the Swedish Bikini Team came.
• What Computer Virus Do You Have? Beware of the following computer Viruses.
  .. Federal Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer....
• How many Spinks handlers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Five. 1 to actually screw in the light bulb, 1 to carry him out of the ring, 1 to tell him who put the lights out, 2 to count the money....
• YOU KNOW YOU NEED AN UPGRADE... when Microsoft tech support picks up the phone before Windows 95 finishes booting when you call tech support and they say your version of software has been obsolete for 5 years when that bright idea you had of pounding a 3-1/4" disk thin so it'll fit in the 5-1/4" slot didn't quite work when the bad blocks on your disk outnumber the good ones if your PC is big enough to use as an end table if it's so old that you can't even find a nonprofit organization that will take it as a donation when you can no longer find those special metallic cassette tapes when everyone's raving about hooking their computers up to the television and you'd never used any other kind of monitor hey
  I'm NOT upgrading my VIC 20, OK?!!! when your calculator has more RAM than your computer when your watch has more RAM than your computer when you realize that they don't use tapes anymore when it takes a Chevy pickup to haul your disk drive away when you're getting bored of those stupid Atari games like Frogger when your computer doesn't give you "nice" system errors like "Bad Command or file name" and instead formats your hard drive when you're getting tired of typing in ones and zeros when your abacus gets termites when "Solitaire" only has enough memory to use half the deck when you get the error message "Don't open so many goddam Windows at once!...
• Computer Dictionary 386: No, 486: Oops, Pentium: The only chip to consider if you're thinking of buying a PC.
  Until Intel ramps up the 686. 640K: The salary the average Wall Street PC analyst pulls in each year....