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• A $500 CPU will protect a $10 surge protector by frying first.
• It's 10:00. Do you know what time it is?
• Q: What will they call the first black test tube baby? A: Janitor in a drum
• Q: What did the Polock do with his first fifty cent piece? A: He married her.
• Q: What do you call the first black test-tube baby? A: Janitor in a drum.
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• Millions for comfort. Not one cent for truth.
• This guy dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter mees him at the pearly gates and tells him to join a group of other newcomers to get the 10 cent tour.
  After checking out a few rooms on the first floor, they get into an elevator to see the rest of the place....
• WHAT THE JOB AD SAYS and WHAT IT REALLY MEANS... Advancement opportunity -Lousy job Entry Level -Really a lousy job No experience necessary -The mother of all lousy jobs Administrative assistant -Lousy job with a title Ground floor opportunity -Lousy job with a company that will file bankruptcy within a year Progressive company - Employees get to wear jeans every other Friday Team player -Must deal with dangerously territorial coworkers with rabid personalities Upbeat personalities -Must neither threaten us with any kind of lawsuit nor use the drug alcohol rehab benefit within the first year Word processing skills essential -There is a crippling case of carpal tunnel syndrome in your future Public Relations Receptionist - Professional appearance important -$
  20 K a year job that requires a $100K year wardrobe Pleasant telephone manner -Be the voice of 1-900-suck Earn up to $...