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• Come closer... a little closer... ulp! Go away!
• YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
  it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
• Q: Why is being in the service like getting a blow job?
  A: The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel....
• If you can't laugh at yourself ... I'll do it for you.
• If you try to be too sharp, you will cut yourself.
• If you can't enjoy yourself, enjoy somebody else.
• If you are searching for yourself. Find a mirror first!
• Never ask a hungry cat if it loves you for yourself.
• Word Play... The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtractingor changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
  Here are some recent winners: Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly....