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• M R ducks M R not M R too C M wangs L I B M R ducks!
• On the wall of a church was a sign, "If you are tired of sin, come to see us!
  And right below it in nice rounded letters; "But if you're not, my phone number is 341 3451...
• THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: COMBAT SANTA REVISITED T'was the night before Christmas, he lived all alone, in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
  I had come down the chimney with presents to give, And to see just who in this home did live....
• IBM - (I)nferior (B)ut (M)arketable.
• She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
  He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?...
• And That alone is.
• I can see more on my knees than on my tiptoe
• I-M-4-U, S-I-M, S-I-M, G-I-1-2-B-4-U-4-F-R, N-F-R
• A job is nice but it interferes with my life.