Related:

• Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please?
  Captain, there is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it on screen?...
• I worked for a bit in the coastguard in Wales and I used to send weather reports to other bases, using a sort of antique FAX machine.
  I would call first on a special telephone and then send the data....
• On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
• Better to have open eyes than an open mind.
• YOUR STARSHIP CAPTAIN JUST MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...
  . * Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month * He paints flames and an NRA sticker on the warp nacelles * You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob" * He refers to Klingons as "critters" * He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns" * He has a sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil * He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section * He says "got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies" * He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen * He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle * He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it * He says "Yee-HA!...
• A taxi driver sees a man, obviously intoxicated, hailing his cab.
  The cab driver pulls over, and the schnockered man gets in....
• An open mind gathers no dust.
•  Chipmunks roasting on an open fire... 
• Chipmunks roasting on an open fire ...