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• Mommy How Old Are You? 8 year old little Mary and her mother are walking through the mall together one day.
  Mommy," says the little Mary, "how old are you?" "Darling, you should never ask a woman what her age is....
• Dad's Words of Wisdom Don't ask me, ask your mother.
  Were you raised in a barn? Close the door. You didn't beat me....
• Things Only A Mom Can Teach You: ** My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
  .. "Just wait until your father gets home." ** My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
• Mother Said: PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man.
  Midnight is past your curfew!" MONA LISA'S MOTHER...
• RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
  ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....
• Once there was a priest who was travelling quite some distance, so he stopped at a convent to seek lodging for the night.
  The nuns had an extra room, so they let the father come in and stay until morning....
• From: ijd@otter.hple.hp.com (Ian Dickinson) Subjec
  What kind of meat do priests eat on Friday? Date...
• Go To School... A Mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning.
  "Nobody in school likes me," he complained. "The teachers don't like me, the kids don't like me, the superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, the school board wants me to drop out, and the custodians have it in for me....
• A mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea.
  The mother wants to show her daughter that she's a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it's like for her....