Related:

• Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
• Why do turkeys eat so little? Because they're always stuffed.
• Thanksgiving Movies Playing In Times Square 10. "Pantless Pilgrims" 9.
  The Full Squanto" 8. "Basting Amy" 7. "Starship Hooters" 6....
• The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely.
  I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table....
• There has been a lot of publicity recently regarding Johnny Carson's joke contrasting parrots and Nevada women.
  In further- ance of my aim to provide complete (and unbiased) reports, I have learned that many other states were the butts of Johnny's jokes....
• QUOTES OVER THE YEARS Age 6 -- I've learned that if you spread the peas out on your plate, it looks like you ate more.
  Age 7 -- I've learned that you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk....
• Q: When do cannibals leave the table? A: After everyone's eaten.
• REDNECK ETIQUETTE - Redneck Driving Etiquette - Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
  When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way....
• Q: What do the Pope and 7-UP have in common? A: "Never had it, never will.