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• While giving a physical, the doctor noticed that his patient's shins were covered with dark, savage bruises.
  "Tell me," said the doctor, "Do you play hockey or soccer?...
• Two Irishmen met in a pub and discussed the illness of a third.
  "Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I'm afraid he's goin' to die....
• A LIGHTER LOOK AT MARRIAGE Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends.
  You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that....
• A FEW THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  A successful woman is one who can find such a man....
• Q: What do you give an eighty-year-old woman for her birthday? A: Mikey...He'll eat anything.
• Q: What's the definition of an Italian virgin? A
  A twelve year old that can run faster than all her brothers....
• Quotes From Groucho Marx: - Time flies like an arrow.
  Fruit flies like a banana. - Room service? Send up a larger room....
• A woman walks into her sex therapist's office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and they never have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it.
  The therapist tells her that she has an experimental drug that might do the trick....