1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because
I know I'm not dumb .... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see
a smart woman with a dumb guy.
-Erica Jong-

3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends
told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do
anything that feels good for 36 hours.
-Rita Rudner-

4. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

5. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
-Erma Bombeck-

6. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-

7. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-

8. I think-therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead-

9. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men
invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-

10. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-

11. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
-Gilda Radner-

12. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want
anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-

13. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage
and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-

14. Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-Gloria Steinem-

15. I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home
which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that
growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home late at night
-Marie Corelli-

16. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
-Baroness Edith-Summerskill

17. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose
around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee-

18. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his
house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

19. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-