Eleven reasons a cucumber is better than a man:
(1) Cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to
sleep in the wet spot.
(2) Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find
themselves.
(3) You won't find out later that your cucumber (a) is
married, (b) is on penicillin, (c) likes you -- but loves
your brother!
(4) A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
(5) A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are
wet.
(6) Cucumbers don't say "Let's keep trying until we have a
boy".
(7) Cucumbers won't tell you size doesn't count.
(8) A cucumber won't leave you for a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
(9) Cucumbers don't fall asleep on your chest or drool on the
pillow.
(10) Cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do.
(11) With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you
left it.
