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• The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
• The man who wakes up and finds himself famous hasn't been asleep.
• If you wake up and find yourself a success, then you haven't been asleep.
• When a gent finally gets to be the world's greatest lover, his success has been a long time coming.
• Marge: Please, Grampa, he's in a coma. Grampa: Coma!
  ? Pfffft. Why, I go in and out of comas all the.....
• BORN LOSER -- a guy who has a wet dream and then wakes up to find he's contracted V.D.
• COWARD -- A man who wakes up with his nose in his wife's armpit and is afraid to open his eyes.
• Kent: Tonight, on Eyewitness News: a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
  Man: Do Sonny and Cher still have that _stupid_ show?...