Related:

• Marge: Hm... I thought you said she was overweight.
  Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen....
• Burns: Make yourselves at home. Bart: Hear that Dad?
  You can lie around in your underwear and scratch yourself....
• They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass army guy.
  -- Homer Simpson Colonel Home...
• Homer: [gasps] Look at these low, low prices on famous brand-name electronics!
  Bart: Don't be a sap, Dad. These are just crappy knock-offs....
• Lisa: Dad! Eat something! [holds up a sandwich] It's got mustard on it.
  [Homer's eye view of the ceiling] [Bart leans in and waves his hand....
• Marge, let's end this feudin' and a-fussin' and get down to some lovin'.
  -- Homer Simpson Colonel Home...
• Marge: Here you go! Free Pretzel Wagon pretzels for everyone.
  One bite and you'll be hooked! Skinner: [takes one] Thank you!...
• Ah, so that's what's been wrong with the little fella.
  He misses casual sex. -- Homer Simpson Two Dozen and One Greyhound...
• Who spread garbage all over Flanders's yard before I got a chance to?
  -- Homer Simpson Two Dozen and One Greyhound...