Related:

• Homer's brain: This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the horrible secret from your past.
  Homer: Marge I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom....
• I can't believe I ate the whole thing. -- Homer Simpson The Fro
• Marge: I thought we agreed to consult each other before any major purchases.
  Homer: Well, you bought all those smoke alarms, and we haven't had a single fire....
• Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
  Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...
• Homer: Well, from now on, exercise every morning Homer!
  [does stretching exercises in front of the bathroom mirror] Marge...
• Marge: Homer! Did you tell the mafia they could eliminate my competitors with savage beatings and attempted murder?
  Homer: [swallowing beer] In those words? ... Yes. -- "The Twisted World of Marge Simpso...
• Homer: Loyal Stonecutters, let us begin our reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg.
  [camera pulls back to reveal scattered, costumed monkeys] Marge...
• Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the collection money, that's all I need.
  Bart: [looking at him] I didn't take it. Homer: Why you little -- [strangles him] How can you look me in the eye and lie like that?...
• Bobby: First, the award for the alumnus who gaied the most weight.
  Homer Simpson! Homer: Oh, my God! Bobby: How'd you do it, Homer?...