Related:

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong.
  Even though they say it's okay in the bible....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Marge: Homer! Bart! Maggie! Company eating rules.
  Homer: [burps] Oh, right. [everyone eats all delicate, like] Ba...
• Marge: I don't know... Bart's such a handful, and Maggie needs attention, but all the while, our little Lisa's becoming a young woman.
  Homer: Oh, so that's it, this is some kind of underwear thing. -- "Moaning Lisa...
• Lisa: Everyone in Springfield had a reason to shoot Mr.
  Burns, even us. [everyone groans in agreement] Bart, he broke your dog's legs....
• Homer: So, I realized that being with my family is more important than being cool.
  Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool....
• Homer: So, I realized that being with my family is more important than being cool.
  Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool....
• Homer: Lisa, you picked the winner every time. You must have some kind of special gift!
  Lisa: Come on, Dad. It doesn't take a genius to realize that Houston's failed to cover their last ten outings on away turf the week after scoring more than three touchdowns in a conference game....
• Adult Lisa: My third husband bought me this. [takes off her ring] Gimme some [casino] chips for it!
  Clerk: Are you sure, ma'am? Adult Lisa: Don't tell me what to do, sonny....