How Many Helmsley Employees -- Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

How many Microsoft employees -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight: one to work the bulb and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $...
How many drunk Irishmen -- does it take to change a light bulb?
100. One to hold the light bulb, and 99 to drink until the room starts to spin....
How many Pizza Hut employees -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three-one to do it, one to hold the ladder, and one to tell the story about "last night....
How many feminists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
100. One to change it, and 99 to wring their hands and agonize about how oppressed the socket is....
How many Apple employees -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Seven. One to screw it in and six to design the tee-shirts....
How many Microsoft employees -- does it take to change a light bulb?
One - but Bill Gates must inspect every single bulb and socket before the operation is started....
How many Iranians -- does it take to change a light bulb?
One hundred - One to screw it in and 99 to hold the house hostage....
How many Borg -- does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.
How many software vendors -- does it take to change a light bulb?
None: You have to do it yourself, pay them $99 for the privilege, and re-wire your sockets to suit the new bulb....