Related:

• How many MS tech supports -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  "The light bulb doesn't work? You must be using a non-standard socket....
• How many software vendors -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None: You have to do it yourself, pay them $99 for the privilege, and re-wire your sockets to suit the new bulb....
• How many Unix programmers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Only one, but if you forget to tell him "2>" he'll mash both the live and dead bulbs into the same socket at once....
• How many computer salespeople -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None. You don't need a new lightbulb - you need to upgrade your socket to the '486 version....
• How many women -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None, they all get electrocuted trying to excite the socket....
• How many auto mechanics -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two, one to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds one that fits, and the other to tell you he thinks he'll have to replace the whole socket....
• How many cats -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need....
• How many surgeons -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. They'd also like to remove the socket as you aren't using it now....
• How many Necrophiliacs -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Only one. Oh, excuse me, could you please test the socket with your finger while I go get a new bulb?...