Related:

• I must look to my own dear tiny darling to sustain me in my frail dotage.
  But Father, surely... Yes, Kate. I want you to become a prostitute....
• In 1962 the expression "safe sex," all that meant then was you just move the bed from against the wall so you won't bang your head.
  -- David Letterma...
• What would you say, my lord, if I were to say...'I love you'?
  Umm...(strangled)..Well, it depends entirely on who you said it to....
• I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
  -- Calvin and Hobbe...
• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....
• We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu".
  You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past "HIGH", that said "ELECTROCUTION"....