Related:

• I don't want to say she was loose. I believe the term we use today is USER FRIENDLY.
  -- Emo Phillip...
• You know what I hate? Indian givers...no, I take that back. -- Emo Phillip
• I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face.
  I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?...
• I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed.
  So I said, "Get off me, you two!" -- Emo Phillip...
• I went into Gus's artificial organ and taco stand. I said "Give me a bladder por favor.
  The guy said "Is that to go?" I said, "Well what else would I want it for?" -- Emo Phillip...
• The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?
  I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way." -- Emo Phillip...
• I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.
  Then I realized who was telling me this. -- Emo Phillip...
• I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.
  Then I realized who was telling me this." -- Emo Phillip...