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• There once was a king who ruled his country long, wisely, and well.
  The king had a son whom he hoped would someday rule the land....
• She was asking her insurance agent: 'If I were to take out a $
  250,000 insurance policy on my husband and he should die the next day, what would I get?...
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...
• Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• She's so ugly that not even the tide would take her out.
• Sabina proceeded with her melancholy musings: What if she had a man who ordered her about?
  A man who wanted to master her? How long would she put up with him?...
• There once was a king who ruled his country long, wisely, and well.
  The king had a son whom he hoped would someday rule the land....
• Most guys'll tell you, if they had a choice of a way to die, they would want to die while in bed with a woman.
  Making whoopee. Which is great. For the guy. For the woman, let's be honest, it's a drag....
• The passionate young thing was having a difficult time getting across what she wanted from her rather dense boyfriend.
  Finally she asked, "Would you like to see where I was operated on for appendicitis?...