Related:

• Milton Berle does it in his BVDs.
• He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.
  -- Milton Berle...
• My husband forgot my birthday and my anniversary. I didn't feel bad.
  On the contrary. Give me a guilty husband any day....
• Smithers: Here are several fine young men who I'm sure are gonna go far.
  Ladies and gentlemen, the Ramones! Bu...
• Whoa, Springfield Elementary, last stop! Oh, and by the way, I'd like to say Thanks, and applose[?
  ] applause to birthday boy Milhouse for his totally bitchin' party on Saturday!...
• Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of sleep.
  .. And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of his real problems....
• I REALLY like Bugs Bunny. I think I just found out why.
  A local weekly (Metro) had an article on the wascally wabbit's 50th birthday party this year, and they had the following quote about the animation studio where Bugs Bunny cartoons were created....
• Committee: a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. -- Milton Berle
• If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. -- Milton Berle, comedia