Related:

• If I buy the steel wool, can you knit me a Porsche?
• I hate singles bars. Guys come up to me and say, "Hey, cupcake, can I buy you a drink?
  I say, "No, but I'll take the three bucks." -- Margaret Smith...
• Homer: [gasps] Tom Landry's hat, and it's autographed.
  To Berman's Dry Cleaning. Best wishes, Tom Landry....
• Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? -- Pick up line
• Hey, dad, will you buy me a flame thrower?
• Where can I buy the Chia-pet computer ??
• Me a skeptic? I trust you can prove that!?
• I Print on Steel with an Industrial Laser.
• Ruth: [about her ex-husband] To top it off, he's been stiffing me on child support for the last four months.
  Marge: Hmm. Well, you _were_ unlucky. But there _are_ a lot of good men out there....