Related:

• Wiggum: All right, you scrawny beanpoles: becoming a cop is _not_ something that happens overnight.
  It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge....
• Homer: I think I won, Mr. Burns. Burns: Yes. [hauntingly] You won, all right.
  You won more than you bargained for. Homer: Woo-hoo! -- "Mountain of Madne...
• All guns are loaded.
• Homer: Shame on all of you. Give me my dignity! I just came here to see "Honk If You're Horny" in peace.
  Manager: Sir, if you'd just quiet down, I'd be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn....
• My grandfather told me that there are no free rides in this world.
  This is why I do not take federal grants of funding for Westside Preparatory School....
• My great dream is that I've won all the beauty contests in the world and all the people I don't like are forced to build me a castle in France.
• Sam: What do you say, Norm? Norm: Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer.
  -- Cheers, Birth, Death, Love and Rice Sam: What do you say to a beer, Normie?...
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• These Views Do Not Reflect All The Voices In My Skull.